The Elle Word

May 31, 2009

Fact or Fiction?

Filed under: dating,Men,relationships — by elle00 @ 12:49 am

ringsA week ago I was at a conference in Detroit and happened to walk through the Expo Hall where I ran into a booth for a hotelier.  The three people manning the booth asked me to fill out a survey for a drawing for a free stay at one of their properties.  As I was filling it out, one of the men was very fun and demanded attention.  He lived nearby me in the same state – the hotel chain’s headquarters are located in the same metro region in which I live.

He proceeded to ask me if, when we get back home, I would like to meet up for coffee or a drink.  Sure…why not? He seemed nice enough and it’s coffee…a drink…

As he said he would, he called and we met one afternoon…

He pulled up in a very nice car.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not a gold digger my any means, I have my own professional career, but it lends to where the story is going.  He was dressed casual and looked very nice.  I was actually thinking he was more attractive than I initially thought and he was charming as well.

So, we sit down when I see IT…the IT being a wedding band…on his right hand.  I looked at it, definitely a wedding band…with some diamonds too…but he’s talking and talking, not even noticing me looking at his hand.  He was saying how he had been in a rough relationship, they broke up and he’s dying to have some kids.  Not typical man-speak by any stretch of the imagination.

At least not in my experience.

I finally ask him about the ring and he says, “Oh, I should have told you about that. My brother was killed in by a drunk driver in 2007 and I wear it in remembrance and I’m saving it for my nephew, his son.”

Now, this sounds heartfelt and maybe it is, but there are some holes in this story for me.

1) a wedding band is between a husband and a wife last time I checked. The wife, his sister-in-law, is still alive and has the kids.  Or so the story goes.  So why wouldn’t SHE be keeping the ring herself, for her son?

2) I’m not sure I know any man, ANY, who wears a wedding ring “just because.” Even those who ARE married and who ARE committed don’t always wear a ring.  Then there are those who DO wear a ring and who are NOT committed.

My problem here goes beyond the “cheating” that would be implied here.  There are married men and women who cheat, no doubt, and there are men and women who cheat WITH those who are married.

What really has me concerned here is that  this man created such an elaborate lie. Why? Like I said, it’s one thing to cheat, but if you have a full on relationship with another person and you are married, where do you expct that to go? Also, what does it say about your character?

So, what do you think….do men wear wedding rings on any hand when they are NOT married?


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