The Elle Word

June 16, 2009

Crossing the threshold to “cougarlicious”

Filed under: dating,Men,relationships — by elle00 @ 2:08 am
Tags: , ,

cougarAs I am just a few weeks away from 40, I’ve realized I am about to be that “cougar” who you see on TV and hear about nonstop. Personally, I like that label better than MILF, which quite frankly I find degrading and nasty.  But still, cougar has negative conotations yet it’s rewarded by high-fives when our male couterparts date younger women.

Why is that?

I’ve almost always dated someone younger than me – only by a year or two typically, though my major long-term relationships have been with someone my own age or older. I don’t look my age and so often younger men don’t expect me to be nearing 40 and of course, I don’t think I act whatever a 40 year old is supposed to act like either.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a succesful professional career and I’m not at all the kind of woman who needs a man to do anything for me. In fact, because of the idiots I have dated, I am probably on the extreme end of “Oh, I got this” and don’t really know how to let a man even do anything for me

As I am shy of a month from crossing the “cougar” threshhold, I am struggling with what it all means.  I have girlfriends who are around 30 and I like them and can hang out with them, yet a man at 30 approaches me and I think its too young.  So why, righ tnow, am I intrigued by a 25 year old man? And why have I given every excuse in the world NOT to go out with him…and he’s debunked them all as excuses and called me out.  In fact, he said, “If you go out with me and you aren’t attracted to me and you don’t like me then I will accept that, but all these excuses, why don’t you take a minute to get to know me?”

So the problem here is not so much that he’s 25…I guess…and those are certainly the words I would want a man to say to me. Long story short, I am gonna give the 25 year old a shot. In the last 4 years, he’s the only person who has really been interested in taking some real time to get to know me. It’s a shame, but guys are so into themselves, they are narcissitic and quite frankly, so many lie – don’t make me go back to the married man post – that this is a welcome change. Young or not. Make me a cougar or not.

I’m gonna check it out. Will report back later 🙂

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